i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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