normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize