So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
