a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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