i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
