Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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