babies were throwing up all over the place
even my farts smell like vagina
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
