Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
