Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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