The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
