how can u be prego again
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you had me at cake vodka
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
