I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
