I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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