Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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