Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
