I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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