i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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