i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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