Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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