we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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