Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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