Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
