things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
