Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I need to calm my uterus...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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