we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
