I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
