he looks like a really good dad on facebook
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
