And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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