I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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