Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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