If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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