Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
