He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
