I hate your face
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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