two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
