That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
