I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize