I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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