your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
