We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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