i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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