I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
