its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
soo... how was my night?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
