Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
