I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
