it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My bed smells like the plague
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
