Sponge bath it is.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
