She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
