IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize