Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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