why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
that's an acceptable place to lick
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wish my penis had a tongue
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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