Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
worst night to have a conscience
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
