Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize