Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
