I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
