It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he fucked my hip out of place.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
