Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize